Monday, April 9, 2012

safe and sound

i'm not much for quoting quotes, who am i kidding, yes i am! =) 

i'm a firm believer that where words fail music speaks.

i fell in love with this song and the lyrics really speak to me. 

Safe and Sound by taylor swift featuring the civil wars <3

I remember tears streaming down your face
When I said "I'll never let you go"

When all those shadows almost killed your light
I remember you said "Don't leave me here alone"
But all that's dead and gone and past tonight.

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window
Darling everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on
Hold on to this lullaby
Even when the music's gone

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright

No one can hurt you now
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound

Just close your eyes
You'll be alright
Come morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

i don't feel like blogging, so i will.

Right now I'm at work.  I'm pretty tired.  I really don't feel like writing, but I kinda want to.  Strange.  Anyway, I had a crazy weekend this past weekend.  My cousin Haileigh, my sister Sam and her boyfriend Brandon made a spontanious trip to Biloxi Sunday.  It was so much fun!  We actually went to Long Beach Mississippi and it was a beautiful day.  The weather was perfect!  Let me set the scene for you.  -- Cloudy sky, about 90 degrees, with a cool breeze -- Yep, perfect beach weather.  I'm proud to say that after 7 hours in the sun I only have strange patches of sunburn on my back (I'm guessing where I missed rubbing in sunscreen) and my right ear is sunburnt.  weird i know.  But all in all I'd say that's pretty good!  I really don't like being sunburned.  The only plus side to a sunburn is that it clears up my acne on my face.  hehe 

Below is a picture of Haileigh and I at the beach. 

Yeah, the water may not be blue but it was a nice and relaxing day.  I pretty much read a book the entire time.  Sam and I played tic-tac-toe in the sand, and me and Brandon raced - which almost caused me to twist my ankle I might add- running in the sand is tough.  Welp, I had a great idea for my next post, but I will save it for tomorrow.  Have a fabulous Tuesday night all. 

Friday, March 30, 2012

black tongue. yolo.

Welp, yesterday was a very interesting day.  It all started out pretty normal, washed some clothes, watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S., talked with Haileigh.  Yep, everything seemed normal until I went to brush my teeth.  And that's when I saw it.  This is pretty gross, so if you have a weak stomach you might not want to keep reading.  Okay here it goes.   When I started to brush my teeth I noticed a couple of my teeth on the right side were black around my gums.  Yep, you read that right, BLACK.  Then I stuck out my tongue.  BLACK. Holy guacamole.  I was panicking by this point!  My entire tongue and some teeth were black!  I started to panickingly (  I don't know if that's a word) brushing and it came off my teeth.  The tongue was a different story.  It was barely coming off.  I yelled for Haileigh to call my mom and we went meet my mom at my aunt Rhonda's office.  I showed everyone there and no one knew what it was!  Well then they said if it's coming off when you brush then it must not be something wrong with you, it must be something on your tongue.  Well, I ended up not going to work because I was freaking out, so I just went lay down at my mom's house. 

A little while later I got 3 phone calls from 3 different people all telling me the same thing.  My tongue and teeth turned black because I took Pepto Bismol the night before.  It says it right there on the box " a darkening of the tongue may occur".  DARKENING?  no, my entire tongue was BLACK!   Crazy!  Has this happened to anyone else?  This is the first time anything like that has ever happened to me! 

Well, on a good note, I ended up not going to either one of my jobs yesterday because of my black tongue ailment and my allergies were aweful, so I took a Benedryl and fell asleep the entire afternnoon which was nice! 

And that's the horrific tale of the black tongue.  Scary I know.  I hope my tongue stays healthy and pink from this day forward.  Crazy Pepto!  It's pink medicine!  Why does it turn your tongue black?  I guess I'll never know.  I'm not a doctor.  Or a Chemist. 

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I really should not have listened to the radio today.

Nope.  Nuh uh.  Bad idea.  I really should not have listened to the radio today.  Hi everyone and welcome to the pity party.  It's about to be pity-party-palooza in here.  Since my boyfriend and I broke up on February 11, 2012, I have not listened to the radio.  Maybe once or twice when someone was riding in my car, but besides that I've been avoiding it at all costs.  I can't handle music when I'm sad.  I'm so emotional that it breaks my heart everytime I hear a song that reminds me of him, or our relationship, or a song about love in general. 

I've invested in listening to audio books.  This has been working wonders!  So far I've listened to Betty White's If You Ask Me, And Of Course You Won't; Tina Fey's Bossy Pants; Twilight Saga:  Breaking Dawn; Sophie Kinsella's Mini Shopaholic ;and Ellen Degeneras' Seriously... I'm Kidding.  I drive an hour and fifteen minutes to and from work five days a week, so I'm always in my car!  Avoiding the radio is no easy task, but I love listening to audiobooks!  I've been checking them out the library to save money.  Occasionally they will have a good one on clearance at Books-A-Millions, which is where I bought Betty White.  Not only does listening to the books keep my mind off of things, they introduce me to new authors!  Always a good thing! 

Well today I was feeling brave and listened to music on my way to work.  If a song comes on that I can't handle I immediately change the station.  I love to sing in my car!  I sing awefully, but I still love it.  Anyway, one song came on and the tears started falling.  You know that song by the fray? I think it's called "Where were you?" -- yeah the really sad one, that's the one.  Well I decided to sing it and now the lyrics have been dancing around in my head all day and I've been fighting back tears literally all day at work.  Here's just a sample of some of the lyrics -

" Where were you... when everything was falling apart.
All my days... were spent by the telephone
It never rang... and all I needed was a call
That never came...

Lost and insecure... you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor... surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?... Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late... you found me, you found me.

But in the end... everyone ends up alone
Losing her... the only one who's ever known
Who I am... who I'm not and who I wanna be
No way to know... how long she will be next to me "

Yeah... so that's been replaying in my head all freaking day.  And on top of being all sad, today is my mom's birthday!  She turned 50 today, which is such a big deal and I wanted nothing more to celebrate with her but of course not, I have to work, like always.  I was able to see her for about 45 minutes before work this morning.  My sisters Ash and Sam gave her our present, tickets to the Bayou Country Super Fest in May!  Sam recorded her reaction for me, thanks so much! =) But I just hate that I have to miss family stuff like that because of work.  It really stinks.  That's just adding to the sadness I'm feeling today. 

On a lighter note (sort of), my friend Daniele told me I need to read the lyrics to Kelly Clarkson's Stronger and I'm so glad she did!  I heard it on the radio and I sang my heart out!  And it really made me feel better about the whole situation.  Here are a few lyrics from the song that I really like --

"You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone.
Think you left me broken down
Think that i'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
 Doesn't mean i'm over cause you're gone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new,
They told you I was moving on, over you,
You didn't think that I'd come back, i'd come back swinging
You try to break me but you see

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day I left was just my beginning "

Come to think of it, I might just listen to the radio some more on my way home.  I'm getting stronger every day.  =)

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Hello! Hi! How are ya?

Hello! Hi! How are ya? Today I am starting a blog. This is it. This is my blog. And this is my first post. I recently started keeping a journal and I told my younger sister Samantha that I'd like to start blogging also, then today my older sister Ashley suggested we (sisters) should all keep blogs and keep up with them. So here I am! Hello blog world! Allie has arrived!

I recently started making some changes in my life due to a loss of a loved one. No one died, but I'm dealing with the end of a six year long relationship. To me it kind of is the same as dealing with a death. You feel lonley, you miss the person all the time, you have to go through life making decisions by yourself and living by yourself just as you would if that person had died. I guess you can say I'm in mourning of my lost relationship.

BUT, and that's a big but, I am taking the high road and looking at this change in my life as a positive thing. I'm journaling and blogging, clearly, to work through my feelings. I'm changing out negative things in my life with positive things. And most importantly of all, I'm finding happiness within myself. I know it's going to be a long, tough journey, but I'm excited to see where it will take me.
Here are a few life changes that I've made recently -
  • Day before yesterday (March 25, 2012) I moved out of my parents house for the first time! HUGE! I'm living with my fabulous cousin and we are so excited to live together and have a blast!
  • I'm getting a puppy! I've always wanted a puppy and now that I'm living on my own I finally get the opportunity to have my very own! Her name is Sophie, she is a gray miniature poodle, and my cousin Katie is letting me have her for free! I'm so very grateful for my wonderful family that has helped me so much throughout this time in my life!
  • I cut and dyed my hair and got a new tattoo! These don't seem like big things, but to me they are. I don't need to please anyone but myself now and it's fun to experiment with my style and appearance!
I can't think of anything else really new right now, but I will be starting a few more things very soon!
  • I really want to start taking Yoga classes. Especially in this time in my life I need to learn to relax and meditate and stretch my mind and body.
  • I want to start running again. I've played soccer my entire life, and always having to work and be a "grown up" leaves little time for running. But I vow to myself to make time to get in excellent shape.
Welp, this will have to do for my first blog post! I'm at work and should probably actually get some work done. =)